Thursday, February 20, 2020

2017 Holiday Gift Guide

This guide includes games for young and old, for every sex, generation, temperament, and culture.

Whatever you do, and whatever you celebrate, there is no better way to spend a Christmas, Hanukkah, or what have you than together with friends, family, and neighbors with a warm cup of (fair trade) cocoa and a stack of casual board and/or card games.

Remember that the most valuable gift you can give is time. Don't just give your loved ones a game; play it with them. Find or start a local game group and join or form a community.

I hope you enjoy the guide. Remember: the holidays are not only for sharing the warmth with family and friends, but also for sharing with those who have no one else to share with them. Give to your local shelters, hospitals, and so on, because that's the gift that keeps on giving.

Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 10"

Tablets are perfect platforms for playing thousands of face to face games for two to four players. Because you don't need to buy the physical components, you can stack all your games in a teeny space, the games (if not the tablet) cost very little, and you don't have to cut down old trees to make them or use fossil fuels to ship them. Tablets have their own environmental impact in their making, so that's a trade off; but if you're getting one anyway, most of the games on this list are available electronically.

Nowadays, most games are also available on consoles, too.
7 Wonders: Ages 9+, 4 to 7 players

This is a game of drafting cards and building a wondrous city. You get a hand of cards; pick one and pass the rest. Everyone reveals the card they picked and puts it into their tableaux. Repeat. Done. Score points based on the combinations of cards you have at the end of all the passing.

The graphics are fantastic, the theme not so visible. It's easy to learn, provides great choices, with depth enough to spare.

Antike II: Ages 8+, 2 to 6 players

Risk is a long game of laying low, with player elimination and just too much in the luck department; this game (and its predecessor but very rare and expensive Antike) is the perfect evolution to, and replacement for, Risk.

It plays quicker, there's dice-less conflict, no one gets to lay low watching while others fight, and - excepting truly poor play - everyone has a chance for most of the game. There's also a lot more to the game than just conflict, but the rules are short and elegant.

Other alternatives for the Risk player are Antike Duellum (for two players) and Risk Legacy (an odd game that moves in one game affect the next).

Backgammon: Ages 6+, 2 players

Backgammon is a classic game that can be enjoyed by children and parents alike. While there is a large amount of luck in the game, there are also many meaningful decisions, which makes this a good stepping stone to future games with more challenge, such as Checkers or Chess.
Blokus, Blokus Trigon, Blokus Duo: Ages 8+, 4 players (Blokus), 2-4 players (Blokus Trigon), or 2 players (Blokus Duo)

Blokus, Blokus Trigon, and Blokus Duo are abstract games with very simple rules. Each round you take a piece and place it on the board such that it touches any previous pieces you have played, but only corner to corner. It can touch other players' pieces along corners or sides.

The rules are easy, the components are beautiful, and it's fun.
Boggle: Ages 8+, 2 to 10 players

Boggle is a word game, whose simple rules - find all the words you can within three minutes - make it a game that is both fun and quick. Adults can play with kids by restricting the adults to have to find words of four or five letters.

The pictured version is a little quieter and less bulky than the old boxy version, and comes with a built-in electronic timer.
Candle Quest: Ages 6+, 2 to 4 players

A little plug for my own game. This is a simple set-collection auction game with a Hanukkah theme. It fits in well with the other games on the list: easy to learn, quick to play, lots of replayability. The theme makes it appropriate for all ages, and there's nothing overtly Jewish about it, other than that it's a menorah, so anyone should feel comfortable playing it.

Of course, I may be biased, since I designed it.
Carcassonne, variants, and expansions: Ages 10+, 2 to 5 players

Carcassonne is a bit more complex than some of the other games here, but the beautiful pieces and the fun game play are worth the time to learn. Pick a piece from the pile, rotate and place it so that it fits on the board (like dominoes), and then optionally place one of your pieces on that tile. There are several ways to score, some of which occur during the game and some of which only at the end of the game.

There are some more rules than that, but not too many more. The game play is engaging enough to make you want to play it more than once in a single sitting.

There are dozens of versions to the game, and some of the versions have several expansions.

Catan: Ages 8+, 3 to 4 players

This game, formerly known as The Settlers of Catan, and Ticket to Ride, are the perfect adult games for beginning gamers.

All you need to do is collect ten points through building settlements and cities, connecting roads, adding developments and trading with your fellow players. A unique board that changes each time you play, constant interaction even when it's not your turn, and a great balance of luck versus strategy makes this The Game to acquire if you still think that board games are only for kids.

Chess / Xiangqi / Shogi: Ages 6+, 2 players

These three games, Chess, XiangQi (Chinese Chess), and Shogi (Japanese Chess), are all top-tier 2-player games that can occupy a curious mind for an entire lifetime. They also have wide followings, so learning the game is learning a language that will admit you to a culture of fellow players around the world.

Board and piece prices range from inexpensive to very expensive, and Chess pieces come in many different themes.
Chinese Checkers: Ages 6+, 2 to 6 players

Another great abstract, and a pretty one if you find one with nice marbles. The rules are simple: move or jump your pieces from one side to the other. Finding chains of jumps is a thrill for all ages.
Carrom / Crokinole / Nok-Hockey / Air Hockey / Billiards / Foosball, etc.: Ages 6+, 2 players

Carrom is the most played tabletop game in India. Like Billiards, the object is to knock pieces off the table area, which you do by flicking wooden disks with your fingers. Crokinole is another classic finger flicking game, as is a racing game called Pitchcar. I finally picked up Crokinole for myself this year, and it is a constant hit with my nephews and their friends.

All kinetic tabletop games, from snooker to billiards to foosball, are loved by players of all ages.
Cards: Ages 3+, 1 to any number of players

Decks of cards, whether they are the well known Western type with 52 cards in 4 suits, or special European or Asian decks, are a great starting point for any number of wonderful games, including Bridge, Hearts, Skat, Cribbage, Pinochle, Oh Hell, Bullsh*t, Durak, President, Spades, Solitaire, and many others.

Check out Pagat.com for the rules to these games and to thousands of others.
Codenames: Ages 10+, 4-10 players

Codenames is a new, fun game that uses words in an unusual way. Two teams, the clue givers alternate trying to give one word clues that match as many of their team's cards as possible. You must find a word that matches multiple other words, but not any of your opponent's words or the assassin's word. It's mindbending, and the game is infinitely replayable.

A great game for non-gamers and gamers alike.

Dixit: Ages 10+, 3-6 (12) players

Dixit is an incredible game, especially for non-gamers. It is loved as a creative exercise: pick a card and give a word, phrase, song, dance, or any other clue to describe it, but not too perfectly. The other players try to play cards that also match your clue. You only get points if some people guess which was your card and some people don't.

The fun is in the creativity of the clues, and I've yet to see a game where even the most stodgy non-gamer doesn't have fun.

There are now several expansions, which are all good. This game, like many others, was inspired by Apples to Apples, another nifty game for the casual non-gamers who walk among us.
Froggy Boogie: Ages 3-9, 2 to 4 players

Froggy Boogie is a brilliant game to frustrate grownups and please younger children. All you have to do is remember where the picture of the fly is, under the left eye or the right eye? The dice have only colors - no counting necessary. It's a perfect first game.
Go / Pente: Ages 6+, 2 players

Beyond Chess, Checkers, or XiangQi is the absolute perfect game of Go (aka Weiqi); it's so popular, there are twenty-four hour television stations dedicated to it, an anime series based on it, and it's considered one of the four arts of the Chinese scholar.

It really is that good, and the rules are easy, too. Best of all, a built-in handicap system allows two people of any skill levels to enjoy a challenging game against each other.

You should play with the nicest board you can afford.

Pente, a game of getting five stones in a row, can be played on the same board. The rules are just as easy as Go, and while the game has much less depth, it is also a little less intimidating to new players.
Jungle Speed: Ages 8+, 3 to 8 players

There are several games of speed reaction / pattern recognition on the market; I chose this one because of the components. Players flip cards in turn and grab for the totem in the middle as soon as two matching cards are revealed. Don't play with friends who have sharp nails or finger jewelry.

Love Letter: Age 8+, 2-4 players

This game has just 16 cards, but it packs a full, replayable deduction, bluffing game into 10 minutes. It's a top seller, takes 30 seconds to learn, and is challenging to play.

It's not my type of game, but I'm in the minority.
Magic the Gathering: Ages 8+, 2 players

After two decades, Magic is still The Bomb when it comes to collectible card games, although Yu-Gi-Oh sells more cards. These are not easy games to learn, but quick start guides can get you off the ground fairly quickly, and then you have months and years of challenging game play ahead of you.

Don't get sucked into having to buy endless amounts of boosters; to play the game outside of a tournament, you only need a few hundred common cards which can be picked up for a penny each on various sites.
Mancala: Ages 5+, 2 players

This is widely known around the world under various names (e.g. Oware), and the national game of many African countries.

The rules are easy: pick up all the seeds in one of your bowls and place one in each bowl around the table. If you land on an empty space on your side, you win the seed and any seeds opposite.

There are a few more rules, but that's about it. It takes a few games to get up to speed; early victories tend to be lopsided. Once you get the hang of it, you can play several, quick, challenging games in succession.
Memory: Ages 3 to 12, 2 to 5 players

This is a first game for kids and adults, and a great game for it, because kids get the hang of it very quickly and adults find it a real challenge without having to pretend. All you need are one or two decks of cards, but an infinite number of these games are sold with various different pictures and themes.

You can play with more than 5 players, but I wouldn't recommend it.
Nefarious: Ages 8+, 2 to 6 players

This is a game of mad scientists that is great for 2 to 6 players, and doesn't sacrifice speed with more players. Each round, you select one of four actions. collect money from any neighbors who selected actions that your minions are invested in, perform your action, and then check to see if you won. The actions are: invest minions, play cards, take cards, or take money.

The cards are fun and the game is quick and replayable, because, in each game, you play with some random twists that make that game's experience unique.
No Thanks: Ages 7+, 3 to 5 players

This is an easy to learn and addictive little card game. A card is flipped up, and you either take the card and any tokens on it or place one of your tokens on it and pass it to the next player. Cards are bad, and tokens are good. But runs of cards only penalize you for the lowest valued card.

A simple and fun game.

Pandemic / Pandemic Legacy

Cooperative games used to be either very boring, very childish, or very hippy. A new breed of cooperative games are nail-bitingly challenging and fun.

Pandemic is a cooperative game of saving the world from disease. Other cooperative games include Lord of the Rings, Shadows Over Camelot, and the much simpler Forbidden Island.

The new Pandemic Legacy (like Risk Legacy, mentioned above), is a version that plays out: each time you play the world is permanently changed with stickers and torn cards; after dozens of plays, the game is over.
Poker: Ages 6+, 2 to any number of players

Playing for money is not a good habit, but a nice set of poker chips and some decks of cards is a great way to spend an evening. There are countless poker games, too.
Scrabble: Ages 8+, 2 (or 2 to 4) players.

Scrabble purists will tell you that you should only play with 2 players and a Chess clock, but for casual purposes it can be played with up to four. It is The word game, and for a good reason.

My favorite way to play is to ditch the board and just play Anagrams: turn over tiles, and first to call a word gets it. A similar, recommended game is Bananagrams, where players race to create their own crossword boards.
Set: Ages 6+, 2 to 10 players

Those who don't have it won't enjoy it. For those who do, it hits just the right spot in the brain. All you have to do is call out matches when you see them, but the matches have to match or not match in all four characteristics.
Stratego: Ages 6 to 15, 2 players

By the time I was in my teens, I had outgrown this, but it remains a seminal game for early players, a great introductory war game with all the basic elements: strategy, tactics, and bluffing. Avoid the electronic ones; they break and they're noisy.

Splendor: Ages 8+, 2 to 5 players

The new game on this list, this is a little resource management game of taking jewels and buying trade routes (i.e. cards). The components and decisions are few and pretty, and there are a few options for strategy, but they are well balanced, making this a tight game every time.

Very simple to understand, challenging to win.
Ticket To Ride: Ages 8+, 2 to 5 players

Many of my fellow bloggers think that this, rather than Catan, is The Game. I used to disagree, but I think I have come around. New players will find this a great intro game, with lots of choices and great game play.

There are several editions of the game, and the 1910 expansion is recommended.
Tichu: Ages 8+, 4 players

A partnership "ladder" game, similar to the game President (sometimes known by its crude name). It's similar, but the addition of a few special cards, a partnership, and passing elevate this to a perfect game for two couples. This is THE card game in gamer circles, and it's not at all complicated.
Time's Up: Ages 8+, 4 to 10 players

This consistently ranks as the number one party game on all of my fellow bloggers' lists. It's the number one ranked party game on Board Game Geek. Which says something.

It plays a lot like the parlor game Celebrities.
Uno: Ages 6 to 12, 2 to 8 players

This could be a child's second game, after Memory, and before moving on to real games. There's not much in the way of thinking involved, but its simple rules, portability, and quick play make it an ideal game for younger kids in almost any situation.

Just be sure to move up to better games when the kids are ready.
Wits and Wagers / Balderdash: Ages 8+, 4+ players

These are party trivia games where knowledge of trivia is not so important. The question is asked, and each player writes down an answer. These are revealed and players then bid on the answers they think are best. The winning answer, and the winning bids, all score points.

Wits and Wagers does this in the form of a poker game setting, while Balderdash requires you to make up funny possible answers. Both have won awards and acclaim as an order of magnitude better than you-know-which famous trivia game.
Zooloretto: Ages 8+, 2 to 5 players

Winner of dozens of awards, Zooloretto is a cute game for kids and decent game for adults. Simply take the animals as they are revealed from the deck and try to fit them into your zoo without overcrowding.

A few extra rules and some clever mechanisms makes the game enjoyable for all ages.


Enjoy,
Yehuda

What Is Amnesia’s Hard Mode?



A year ago we brought SOMA to the Xbox One, and along with it the Safe Mode. The optional mode removed the hostility of enemies and let players explore Pathos-II in relative peace. Most  players were pleased with it, and at best it meant that players that hadn't dared to traverse the Atlantic ocean floor before now had a chance to experience it.

Now finally releasing the Amnesia: Collection on Xbox One, and decided to also spice it up with a little treat. We bring you the polar opposite of the Safe Mode: the Hard Mode!

Amnesia: Collection will be released on Xbox One on the 28th of September, after which the mode will be available on Xbox and PC.


What is the Hard Mode?

It is really just as the title suggests: a mode that makes it harder to beat the game. You know, in case The Dark Descent wasn't stressful enough for you.
The Hard Mode has the following features:

- Autosaves are disabled, and manual saving costs 4 tinderboxes
- Sanity dropping to zero results in death
- Less oil and tinderboxes throughout the levels
- Monsters are faster, spot the player more easily, deal more damage and stay around for longer
- There is no danger music when the monsters are near.

So in summary: the environments are harsher, the monsters more unforgiving, insanity is deadly, and death is final – unless you pay a toll.

You can pick between normal mode and Hard Mode when starting a new game of Amnesia: The Dark Descent. The mode changes some fundamental elements of the game, and therefore can't be changed halfway through.

A Machine for Pigs and Justine do not feature this mode.


How does this affect achievements/trophies?

Beating the game on Hard Mode will earn you a new trophy called Masochist. Because, you know, you pretty much have to be one to complete the mode.

The mode affects the Illuminatus achievement, which you can't get during playing in Hard Mode as it reduces the amount of tinderboxes throughout the level.

The Masochist achievement.

Will it be on all platforms?

Yes! The Hard Mode will launch on Xbox and PC versions (Steam, GOG, Humble Bundle) simultaneously. We have started working on the PS4 version with our porting partner, and hope to have it out soon.

Extra

Want a Hard Mode wallpaper? Download a 4K version with and without the logo on our public Drive folder.

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Episode 27: From Sea To Shining Sea Is Live!

Episode 27: From sea to shining sea is live!
I talk with Sam Mustafa about the state of the miniatures wargame hobby and rules and miniature development in the US.


The Veteran Wargamer is brought to you by Kings Hobbies and Games
https://www.facebook.com/Special-Artizan-Service-Miniatures-1791793644366746/

Join the conversation at https://theveteranwargamer.blogspot.com, email theveteranwargamer@gmail.com, Twitter @veteranwargamer

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Other companies we mentioned:

The Episode we reference:





Northstar Military FIgures - http://www.northstarfigures.com/

Flames of War - Battlefront - https://www.flamesofwar.com/


Saga - Studio Tomahawk - http://www.studio-tomahawk.com/en/



Music courtesy bensound.com. Recorded with zencastr.com. Edited with Audacity. Make your town beautiful; get a haircut.

"Alien" Ninja Turtles Had Some Potential




DISCLAIMER:
Copyrighted material that may appear on this blog is for the usage of further commentary, criticism, or teaching within the standards of "fair use" in Section 107 of the Copyright Act. All video, music, text, or images shown, all belong to their respective creators or companies. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is the property of Nickelodeon.

WARNING:
Possible spoilers!



Image by Museum Of Hartlepool. Source: https://www.flickr.com/


Michael Bay is getting a bit too much credit for this Ninja Turtles project.

Sure, he's producing it, and as a producer, he can affect the shape of these films, but that can only go so far. Especially when you consider that he's surrounded by a variety of other producers. This includes Bradley Fuller, who's elegant repertoire has given us the The Nightmare On Elm Street and Friday The 13th remakes (reboots?) (IMDb). The silver lining, though, is Ian Bryce, who produced Return of the Jedi and Field Of Dreams, but also Transformers 2 and Howard The Duck (IMDb). Yikes.


Bay isn't directing the film, either. That distinction goes to Jonathan Liebesman. His great directing credits scored terribly on Rotten Tomatoes, like Battle: Los Angeles (35%), Wrath Of The Titans (25%), and the unforgettable Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (12%). Damn. At least Michael Bay had The Rock (66%).

And Bay certainly isn't writing the screenplay. For this film, three musketeers were selected to delicately craft the script. The first is Josh Appelbaum, who wrote for the acclaimed show Alias, and the also acclaimed Mission Impossible 4 (IMDb). Nice. The second is Andre Nemec, who also wrote for Alias and Mission Impossible 4 (IMDb). Uh, double nice. Okay, so here is where the other shoe drops. The third is Evan Daugherty, who wrote for Snow White and the Huntsman and that Hunger Games look-a-like Divergent (IMDb). Both are adaptations like this film. Maybe he'll do a good job.

All of these factors will certainly make the film an interesting one to watch, but if it goes wrong, all of the blame should not fall on Bay. It would be like blaming Spielberg for the failures of Transformers 3 and The Legend Of Zorro (IMDb). Yes, he did actually invest time into producing those films. 

But when hearsay of the very idea that these turtles might be aliens, the fans went into an uproar, and they blamed Bay. Crystal Bell of The Huffington Post writes,

 "Needless to say, the fans are not too pleased with Bay for changing the origins of the beloved "Ninja Turtles."

"So will they be changing the title?," asked one Reddit user. "I mean, 'TMNT' doesn't really apply anymore ... Maybe they could be Teenage Alien Interstellar Ninja Turtles?" 

However, another Reddit user pointed out that if the Turtles were in fact aliens -- and not nuchuck-wielding ninjas -- perhaps they would have developed more sophisticated weaponry:

"If they're aliens then why would they be ninjas!?!? They would have laser guns and lightsabers and junk! They wouldn't need to be ninjas! Michael Bay is the destroyer of worlds!" 

Even Michaelangelo voice actor Robbie Rist had some, uh, constructive words for Bay on his open letter on Facebook,

"Dear Michael Bay.

You probably don't know me but I did some voice work on the first set of movies that you are starting to talk about sodomizing.

Look man, I think you have some pretty nifty action ideas (of course on the other side, the minute ANYONE in your movies starts using actual dialog I seem to catch myself nodding off), but seriously, Teenage ALIEN Ninja Turtles?

I know believing in mutated talking turtles is kinda silly to begin with but am I supposed to be led to believe there are ninjas from another planet?

You know that ninjas are a certain kind of cultural charact....

Oh what the hell am I talking to you for?

The rape of our childhood memories continues....."

His words seem a bit harsh to me (I liked what he had to say about Bay's dialog, though), but I can't help but think that his anger describes a lot of the sentiment that fans initially had at this film. To Robbie's credit, however, he later told TMZ that, "Everything I have said here could be off base and wrong ... He has made WAY more money at this than I have."

First of all, we now know that the whole "aliens" idea was a bunch of bunk, as Micheal Bay later confirmed to Moviefone, "There was that quote saying that we were making (the Ninja Turtles as) aliens. We're not! It's the ooze!" Second, even if they were aliens, we don't know if Bay had even developed the idea. It could have been from the writers, the director, or any of the other producers. He certainly approved it, which makes him culpable, but that doesn't make him the source. Third, I would hardly call Michael Bay the "destroyer of worlds" for doing such a move (he's destroyed a lot of buildings, though). Or even a raper of childhoods (if such a thing is even possible). Bay simply wanted to take the series in a different paradigm, and frankly, it could have done some neat things. Before all of that, though, let's get one thing out of the way. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are really kind of silly.

Really, though. Think about the whole premise of this franchise. 

Ordinary turtles become mutated into anthropomorphic creatures by a radioactive ooze and are taught to become ninjas by anthropomorphic rat called Splinter in the sewers of New York City. The turtles, now teenagers, are named after Renaissance painters, eat pizza, fight a samurai named Shredder, and rescue reporters in yellow jumpsuits.

Original, yes, but very laughable. In fact, TMNT creators Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird joked about conceiving the idea in The Week, "We were just pissing our pants that night, to be honest. 'This is the dumbest thing ever.'" (Farago).

I haven't read the comics, so I can't speak for them, but they sounded pretty gritty. Nor have I seen the 1980's cartoon that helped propel the turtles into the mainstream. I tried watching two episodes a while ago, and I was a bit bored by it. The turtles also looked a bit too cutesy for me. Sorry Gen X. I've seen the1990 film, which, as a straight up Ninja Turtles movie, was actually very entertaining. You really can't fault the movie for giving audiences at the time exactly what they wanted: the four pizza loving turtles fighting crime. That said, the Jim Henson Creature Shop did a good job of designing the costumes, the action scenes are well paced and impressive considering the heavy suits, and the editing and cinematography have a stylized MTV look. This shouldn't be too surprising, since the film was directed by Steve Barron, who also directed the music video for Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean" and A-ha's "Take On Me" (IMDb). The second and third films, I hear, weren't much better, although the second film had Vanilla Ice, and who wouldn't love that?

The turtles I grew up on were from the late 90's series The Next Mutation. It was a live action show that featured the turtles in uglier costumes than were used in the movies, along with a female turtle named Venus and a crossover episode with Power Rangers In Space. That 80's cartoon looked a lot better by comparison. The turtles did, in my opinion, hit a high note with the 2003 cartoon which had some stylish animation and enjoyable writing. This led to the 2007 film which was kind of dull and confusing, but had a cool fight between Raphael and Leonardo. There's a new TMNT show on Nickelodeon, but I'd rather watch Legend of Korra instead.

The reason why I've reiterated so much turtles history is to show that this series have been reworked again, again, and again. Now in spite of whichever TMNT incarnation you happen to prefer, it is clear that all of these stories always return to square one. Four feature films, three cartoons, a crossover with the Power Rangers and the tale still starts in the sewers of New York City. It's almost like an infinite time loop. Aren't fans tired of this set-up? Would it be so radical to demand a slightly different background? Are we so hopelessly blinded by our nostalgia that the most infinitesimally small divergence from the established canon is an act of heresy?

Come on, guys.Would a little openness with the franchise be so hard? When it came to rebooting this franchise, the production team could have gone one of two ways. They could reboot it as an animated film aimed at a younger demographic, or go for the gritty Nolanesque reboot that would appeal to older teenagers. Making an animated film would be redundant, since we just had an animated film and we already have a new cartoon on TV. So, gritty reboot it is.

When one does a gritty reboot, a certain sense of realism is to be expected. As with the Nolan-Batman films. This doesn't work when you have too much absurdity to overplay the grittiness. Take the implausible tornado sequence from Man of Steel or the horrific "Deep Wang" moments from Transformers 3. Both films featured extraordinary scenarios with aliens. In one, aliens can disguise themselves as cars, and in the other, they can fly and shoot lasers out of their eyes. Both films asked us to take them seriously, Man of Steel much more so, but Transformers 3 also had the destruction of a city, which, I would hope, demands a degree of realism. (By the way, the Autobots were far more negligent about civilian casualties than Superman supposedly was). So while the new TMNT may not be as violent as Man of Steel or as idiotic as Transformers 3, it will have to balance its extraordinary premise with the realism of a live action movie.

Here's where the aliens come in.

Now if the turtles were simply aliens, it would do away with a lot of wasteful exposition dealing with the turtle's origins. Considering that we have yet to see any real aliens, though they may certainly exist, the concept of anthropomorphic turtles does not seem quite as absurd by comparison. We know, scientifically, that even the most extreme of mutations would not produce a love of pizza and surfer lingo in turtles, but we don't know anything about aliens. So anything's up for grabs. Again, an alien origin would better fit the demands of realism that many viewers are used to in a live action film. So why does this idea have potential? I'll tell you why, because it won't be set in NYC. No, it would be set on the turtle's alien planet.

You see, a terrible thing in writing a plot is limitations. This is why prequels are so hard to do without a retcon, the blatant rewriting of previously established canon. If you don't know what I'm talking about, think Zeist from Highlander 2. A prequel can only get so far before running into an established plot point. So freeing up the premise as much as possible to allow for more movement with characters and such is a must. This is the trouble that comes with adaptations. The filmmakers have to balance between honoring the source material and creating their own movie. The problem with the the latter Harry Potter films is that they became too much of a supplement to the books as opposed to being independent works. You see this problem even reverberate in reboots, where the new films didn't differ enough from the originals. Compare, for example, 2012's Spider-Man with 2002's.

Setting TMNT on an alien planet would offer so many possibilities. Bebop, Rocksteady, Krang, and Usagi Yojimbo could all pop in at any time without any real need for prior explanation. We would simply assume aliens on an alien planet. Anything goes. The planet doesn't have to be futuristic either. Why should it be? The turtles are ninjas aren't they? So why not create a world where those ninja skills and weaponry would hold the advantage? How about a planet based off of feudal Japan, or even a Pandora-like environment? It could bring the turtles to a level they've simply never been at before. Does this mean that Shredder, Karai, April, and Casey can still be humans in an alien planet? Of course. Its an alien planet remember? Anything goes.

Just think of all the conventions this film could avoid simply by being set on its own planet. No need to hide their identities in public, no need to appeal to the police or military of not being a danger, no need to worry about how humans should react upon seeing them, and if you do go futuristic, no need to explain how you acquired said technology in the modern age. Best of all, not having to set another summer blockbuster in New York City.

That's some potential with the turtles as aliens, but I doubt if it would ever have been exploited. In fact, I doubt the turtles were ever in any real danger of being radically changed. If there's one thing Hollywood loves, it's formulas. One such formula is to be familiar. People tend to lean towards what they already know. Alien Turtles would be far too alienating (no pun intended) for today's profitable demographics and no doubt divide, if not scare off the entire fanbase. The turtles have spent too much time in our cultural consciousness to be so utterly transformed. Yeah, they're bigger and a bit more slimy, but honestly, how much have they really changed. As far as I can infer from the trailers, they still live in the sewers of New York, but we'll have to wait for the film's release to really find out.

Well, however bad this new TMNT may be, at least the Turtles won't be interviewed by Oprah again.


Bibliography

"Andre Nemec." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0625858/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1

Bay, Michael. "Michael Bay, 'Pain & Gain' Director, on 'Transformers 4' and the New 'Ninja Turtles' Movie." Interview by Billy Donnely. Moviefone. April 26, 2013. Web. http://news.moviefone.com/2013/04/26/michael-bay-pain-and-gain-interview/

Bell, Crystal. "Michael Bay: Ninja Turtles Movie Will Make 'TMNT' Aliens, Fans Cry Foul." The Huffington Post. March 19, 2012. Web. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/19/michael-bay-ninja-turtles-movie-aliens_n_1364828.html 

"Bradley Fuller." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0298181/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1

"Evan Daugherty." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2489193/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Farago, Andrew. "The fascinating origin story of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." The Week. June 10, 2014. Web. http://theweek.com/article/index/262738/the-fascinating-origin-story-of-the-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles

"Ian Bryce." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0117290/

"Jonathan Liebesman." Rotten Tomatoes. Web. http://www.rottentomatoes.com/celebrity/162674974/?search=jonathan%20li

"Josh Appelbaum." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0032227/?ref_=nv_sr_1

"Michael Bay." Rotten Tomatoes. Web. http://www.rottentomatoes.com/celebrity/162652380/?search=michae;%20bay

Rist, Robbie. Facebook. March 19, 2012. Web. https://www.facebook.com/robbie.rist/posts/10150753394410645

"Steve Barron." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006625/

"Steven Spielberg." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000229/?ref_=nv_sr_3

TMZ Staff. "Ex-Ninja Turtles Actor--Michael Bay is 'Sodomizing' the TMNT Legacy." TMZ. March 20, 2012. Web. http://www.tmz.com/2012/03/20/teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-michael-bay-michaelangelo-sodomizing/#ixzz38cJnSWlu

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